LIBBY INTERVIEWS...
ANNA NICOLE SMITH
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Libby:
Well I admire
you dear for putting up such a brave front and speaking of front, what
does your T-shirt say?
Anna:
Deliops
Libby:
No, dear
that's from your angle, what is it from my angle I don't have my glasses.
Anna:
Oh, Spoiled.
Libby:
Awwww, is
that in memory of your husband?
Anna:
Yeah. He
used to spoil me all the time, he'd buy me things and give me money to
buy things and give me gifts that I could return to buy more things. Oh...
Libby:
Don't cry
dear. I'd take you in my arms but I'm only a little thing and also you
are wearing an awful lot of makeup. It is hard, but you'll get through
it. I think it is marvelous the way you are taking your mind off your
grief right now by suing the pants off anyone who'll look at you.
Anna:
I know it's
what he would have wanted.
Libby:
So let's
see, U.S. District Judge David Carter ruled that the victory awarded you
in your bankruptcy case was improperly handled and that a new trial would
be scheduled.
Anna
His son Pierce
is the troublemaker. He says I don't deserve a thing!
Libby:
What nonsense!
Did he prance around in fancy lingerie for his father? Did he have to
snuggle next to someone who had ears that looked like hamsters and legs
like petrified wood?
This is a
tragic tale because let's face it honey you're not getting any younger.
You married Mr. Marshall when you were 26 and he was 89. That's a 63 age
difference. If this drags on much longer so will your boobs.
As time and
goes on and gravity takes effect, you're going to find it tough attracting
even the nonagenarian.
This is
a downright travesty. How is a young woman with no talent supposed to
make money these days anyway? In my day it was so much easier.
I'll tell
you a little secret dear. I went through exactly the same thing you're
going through--except we were fighting over a pig farm instead of 475
million dollars. I met my late husband Wally at a county fair. I caught
his eye when I presented the award for the best cheese sculpture and we
were married shortly after that.
No one knows
unless they have been through it, the problems you experience with an
intergenerational relationship. They have no idea how simple phrases like
"pucker up" can strike fear into a young woman's heart. Poor
Wally died not too long after we were married and like you, I found he'd
left me out of his will.
All his greedy
children crawled out of the woodwork, grasping and clawing using the very
weak premise that they were flesh and blood that they'd known him all
their lives while I had only known him six weeks.
Anna:
What finally
happened?
Libby:
There was
some question about who pulled the plug and why, so I decided not to tarnish
my husband's memory with an ugly court case. I decided to rise above it
all and leave town as soon as possible.
Anna:
Oh.
Libby:
I'm rooting
for you hon, I'm sure the court will see sense some day-- after all your
husband was a lawyer, what did he know about wills?
Perhaps you
should try to mend the fences with your stepson, maybe he just had trouble
adjusting to his new mommy. Take him to the zoo or a waterpark and see
if you can't turn him around.
If that doesn't
work, come with me to Kipling Acres to visit my mother there's lot's of
prospects for you there. They may not be rich but at the very least they'll
keep you in cheese fries and peroxide.
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