LIBBY INTERVIEWS...
GWYNETH PALTROW
LIBBY INTERVIEWS...
GWYNETH PALTROW
Libby
Well let me look at you!!! My gosh you are so pale I can almost see through you!!
Gwyneth
Thank You.
Libby
You better sit down dear--can I get you anything? Some juice, an iron tablet?
Gwyneth
No, I'm just fine.
Libby
Well if you feel like you're going to pass out or anything just raise your pinky that way I'll know whether you are conscious or not.
Now hon, big picture of you on Vanity Fair --an "it" girl.--You know, when I was a girl the Rudyard Kipling and Clara Bow meaning of "it" had changed to someone who had cooties or was lousy at tag. It doesn't mean that now does it?
Gwyneth
....no.
Libby
O.k. Hon, you are an Oscar winner, and a huge movie star. Did you ever dream that you would make it this big?
Gwyneth
I've
never really analyzed it. I'm just me.
Libby
Would
you like a tic tac? It's only one calorie but it may get your through
a few minutes. My God you look frail---which is a great look by the way--I'd
go for it but I've got olive undertones.
I watched The Talented Mr. Ripley last night on the television.
(We like to pick up a talkie now and then)
You
were fabulous as usual but a times I was a little worried--I was thinking
that maybe some Gatorade or something before you do a scene would maybe
give you the strength to move your tongue and your lips while you talk.
Gwyneth
I
don't know what you mean....
Libby
See
you're doing it right now. Unless it's one of these new techniques--which
is a very interesting one as long as you're not interested in hearing
the dialogue of a film. Have the tic tac, come on-- maybe I could order
you a sandwich...
Also
dear, you should consider wearing a corset. You don't need it for that
fine figure of yours but it would help keep your back straight--which
in turn would help support your head. Poor thing.
Now
your mother Bythe Danner is in the 'biz, did she ever give you advice like "take some castor oil? "
Gwyneth
She supports my career but she doesn't offer advice...
Libby
Vitamins--do
you take any supplements?
Gwyneth
I
would prefer if you don't mind, that we stick to my career.
Libby
Oh,
sure hon, now of all your films--Emma is my favourite--you were so lifelike
in that one!! I sense a spark buried in you. I have the feeling that maybe
if you had a couple more pints of blood you could probably be quite sassy.
I'm not your mother, not even your Aunt--but you've got to take care of
yourself.
Gwyneth
I eat very well and do Ashtanga yoga six times a week.
Libby
Yes,
but something for the blood, maybe a bit of liver. You see Gwyneth, this
frail fading away thing is great as a movie novelty but if you're looking
to get a husband--they'll want someone who looks like they can breed.
Don't you want to get married? Don't you want to be sporting a rock?
Gwyneth
I
try to remember as I hear about friends getting engaged, that it's not
about the ring. It's a grave thing, getting married.
Libby
Well
this puts me in an akward position but someone's got to tell you. If you
keel over should I pour water on you,slap you or give you a Hershey's
kiss?
Gwyneth
I'm
not going to "keel over' --what is it you want to tell me?
Libby
Your old flame Brad Pitt got married to Jennifer Aniston.
Gwyneth
Yes,
I know.
Libby
She's
a spunky little thing even if she is only a tv actress--do you look back
and think---if only I'd eaten more liver?
Don't
these actresses of today know how to say goodbye? Now, I don't blame poor
Gwyneth as it must have been exhausting for her to sit there for so long.
But a tata or a cheerio never killed anyone.
©2000-2001
www.happywomanmagazine.com
Please Note: This
is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally
took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet.
The interviews are not real and the interviewers
are not real.
Complete list of articles
past and present.
| 
