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No Sew Peasant Blouse

By Crystal Click

As if you didn't know, this year's must have item is the Peasant Blouse. The ultimate in retro-wear, you (or your mother) will no doubt remember its most recent flirt with popularity in the early 80s, the 60s, the 40s and every 20 years prior dating back to the serfs of Medieval France. This proves once and for all the inherit value of Feudalism, even the impoverished were smartly dressed.

Speaking of poverty, if your bank book looks to have been ravaged by marauding warmongers you can still stay in favor with the fashion lords. With a little ingenuity and a lot of tape you can have your own peasant blouse for $1.99 or less.

To create your shirt, you will need:

• Two kitchen size garbage bags, preferably white
• Double sided carpet tape.
• Transparent Tape Clear packing tape.
• A hole punch
• A shoe lace.
• Permanent marker
• Scissors

There is very little measuring in this project. The optimum peasant blouse is white and billowy. A properly fitting peasant blouse glides over your curves effortlessly causing casual onlookers and observant neighbors to murmur, "is she pregnant, or is it that tent she's wearing?" Additionally, the snow white color will give you that pasty washed out look so sought after by the penniless and ill-fed.

Step 1. If you are an earth friendly DIYer and prefer to use recycled trash bags, thoroughly rinse away any coffee grounds or stray particles from last week's lasagna. The mood is provincial, not white trash.

Step 2. Fold both bags in half lengthwise. About six inches down, draw a line on each bag at a 45 degree angle. Cut on the line.

Step 3. Take one bag and cut lengthwise on each side. You should have two pieces identical to the picture below. These are the sleeves. Do not cut the remaining bag open, it forms the body of the garment.

Step 4. Lay out one sleeve piece on your work table, diagonal corners together. Cut a piece of double sided carpet tape the length of the sleeve. Unless the tape is very narrow, you will want to cut it in half lengthwise to avoid bulk at the seams. Apply tape to one long edge of the arm piece. Lap the other long edge over the first, forming a long tube. Repeat steps 1 through 4 because, at this point, it is 99% likely that you have taped your finger or your instructions to the garbage bag. Stretched and torn plastic is unsighly. Repeat Step 4 again, as most people prefer two sleeves.

Step 5. Cut one piece of double sided carpet tape the length of one side of the "V" formed by the sleeve. Cut the tape into four piece lengthwise. Match the "V" on each side of the bodice with the "V" on the upper end of each arm tube and tape in place.

Step 6. Next, gather the neckline and sleeves, securing with transparent tape.

Step 7. Form the front placket with a vertical six inch strip of packing tape. Place an additional strip on the inside for durability. Notch the placket to whatever depth you are comfortable with.

Step 8. With a hole punch, fashion six symmetrical holes for the lacing.

Step 9. Lace up the front and wear for crop tilling and other social activities.

Easy to care for, just hose off and drip dry.

Caution: Avoid open flames while constructing and/or wearing your garment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Crystal Click is an accomplished seamstress. She has made 14 dresses, 2 shirts and 12 baby outfits -- all of which are 60 - 75% completed and sitting in a neat box in her rural American rent free storage unit (otherwise known as a chicken coop).

Questions, comments, peasant blouse pictures to share? Email the author at clickherexhappywomanmagazine.com (Replace x with @ before sending)

OTHER HW ARTICLES BY CRYSTAL CLICK:

No Sew Do-It-Yourself Peasant Blouse

The FAQ's of Life: The Definitive Guide to Child Rearing

Skin Deep

Bovine Metabolism Diet

1-2-3 Guide to This Year's Hottest Hair Trend

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