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So what the hell is the matter with us? We toss a pad and a Midol at our bewildered little girls, maybe even snicker a sarcastic, "welcome" and shuffle them back off to middle school. Hardly fair, is it? Well, as an enlightened parent you can help change this disturbing trend. Throw your daughter a party she'll always remember!
Above all make sure her party is a surprise. Swear guests to secrecy so you can all witness her astonishment as the hidden crowd leaps to their feet and you lunge forward to crown her with the glittering tampon tiara that you, her loving mother, created with only applicators, hot glue and the plastic headband she just had to have but has now deemed "dorky."
Starting a gift registry assists your guests in selecting just the right present for this joyous occasion. Suggested items might include classic premenstrual necessities like migraine medication, bags of chocolate covered pretzels, economy packs of tissues, "do not disturb" signs, and voodoo dolls representing family members and teachers. Recruit a few postmenopausal guests (feminine protection, if you will) to guard the pretzels.
© 2007 Christiana Tosatto
OTHER HW ARTICLES BY CHRISTIANA TOSATTO
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Christiana writes to avoid housework and as a result lives in squalor with her husband, four adolescent children and two (intentional) rats. Her work has appeared in Delaware Beach Life and Christian Science Monitor and is pending publication in Byline Magazine. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.