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NOVEMBER 2010

 Dear Confused,

The world has been insane for a long time.  Especially about sex. What's crazy is that it takes nine months between doing the deed and having the kid. You realize there must have been some cave lady somewhere who was the first one to put it together. I can just imagine her, in the middle of roasting some saber toothed tiger or plucking the hairs out of a mastodon chop, when it struck her that it was no accident that little Alley Oop looked just like the palooka from the next cave over. She would have dropped her teeth, if she had any left.  (I don't think hygiene was that big a deal, you don't see any cavemen in tubs, but they managed somehow, otherwise how would we all be here to wonder about it?) Anyhow, with regards to the bathtubs, they are selling plumbing services to people whose drains are clogged.

Full Bathtubs= Good Plumbing= Working Pipes

Dear Readers:
People ask me all the time, what's the point of sex, besides the obvious.   There is no point besides the obvious. IF you are done with making babies , then there is no reason to do the dirty.  Doesn't mean you don't do it, if  there had to be a good reason before you could do something,  then no one would play golf.   So if you're wondering whether or not to indulge, ask yourself the same questions you would ask about any hobby.

  1. Can I afford it?
  2. Do I care how good I am at it?
  3. Do I have the time for it?
  4. Will it annoy the neighbors?
  5. Is it legal? And you can define legal however you want, that's not my lookout

If the answer to these are Yes, Yes, Yes, No,Yes, then go for it. 
And a word to the wise, if it any of the answers are the opposite, you'll be writing to me about it sooner or later.  I will have to say I told you so, because I just did. (See above list)

 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Pamela Bongiorno Monk is a full time faculty member of Penn State University, where she teaches creative writing, both fiction and non fiction. She pursues freelance writing, authoring plays and feature articles. She has broken nearly as many rules of family as she has enforced.

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