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EST. May 2000 (AD)

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Are You Sexy? Take Our Quiz!

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

Chances are if you need to take a quiz you're not, but you may surprise yourself!

Answer true or false to the following:

-Even if your husband accidentally brushes up against you in the grocery store you feign sleep.

-When watching an adult film you criticize the plot.

-You keep getting The Tunnel of Love mixed up with Love Canal and Carpal Tunnel.

-Your consider the underpants that still have the elastic intact, lingerie.

-You take the getaway part of "romantic getaway" literally and leave your spouse at home.

-Your idea of foreplay involves household chores.

-Your "come hither" look is reserved for snickerdoodles.

-After making love you often say "thank God that's over with."

-Your partner arrives home with strawberries and cream. He suggests you eat them in bed. You do. By yourself.

-Whenever someone hires a male stripper for a shower or other occasion you spend the sexy time stealing devilled eggs.

-On your list of priorities, sex comes directly after "take down Christmas lights" and just before "crochet the lawn a hat."


If you answered true to any of the above questions, your love life needs a jump start!

Try arranging romantic interludes with your partner. Arrange a date night and treat yourself to some sexy new lingerie.

Or you could do what most of the Happy Woman staff does: Count backwards from one thousand or (depending on the partner) ten until it's over.


© Sharon Grehan-Howes

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved

 

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