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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Beauty 911

By Elize Bergeron

Q Elize, I have very, very thin lips. They still work fine and I don't seem to have any problems eating or kissing but I..

A Please spare me the details.

I get asked this question so much I've devoted a whole column to it. I will say this once and once only. The only lips to have right now are the Angelina Jolie Model. I have very graciously provided a stencil and an easy to follow step by step list that will provide you with luscious lips for under $300.00.

(Note: You must use the cosmetics below or it will not work.)

The Angelina Jolie Lip How To:

1. Save the image. If you don't know how, then I can't help you. Get someone without a manicure to show you.

2. Open the image in an image editing program and enlarge the stencil to 1 3/4 H x 2 7/8 W.

3. Cut around the dotted line (I've been told scissors work best for this.)

4. Coat lip and surrounding area liberally with Almay Amazing Lasting Hypo-Allergenic Concealer SPF 6 until you cannot see where your lips begin and your face ends unless you open your mouth.

5. Apply La Prairie Cellular Lip Treatment Complex to the lip area and let the lips absorb the treatment for ten minutes.

6. Repeat

7. Apply L'Oreal Air Wear Powder Foundation, SPF 17, Sand 40 all over face, avoid eyes and inside of mouth.

8. Position stencil 3/4" below your nose. (Note: weak chinned ladies may find some overhang--if so, stop at the bottom of your chin and move splotch on step 16 up 1/8".)

9. Using Chanel "Sienna" lip liner, follow inner line of stencil (Note: A steady hand is required. If you are a heavy drinker you may wish to dry-out before attempting this procedure.)

10. Fill in the entire lip area with one coat Revlon "Nude" matte liquid lip colour. (Note: It is very important to colour within the lines so you may wish to practice.)

11. Blot with Burt's Bees Wings of Love, Powdered Facial Tissues be very careful not to apply pressure and wait five minutes.

12. Repeat steps 10 & 11 and then skip to 13 otherwise you will never stop.

13. Coat center of lip leaving 1/4" around with Body Shop Cranberry Spice Continual Lip Colour.

15. Blot with Kleenex Expressions, White Facial Tissue, Unscented using a one-two motion, do not exceed 12 pats.

16. Dab a 1/4" splotch of the off white section of Almay Stay Smooth Beyond Powder Eyeshadow Shimmers in the center of bottom lip. (Note: As this must be exact, Dip pinky in shimmer, place your thumb in your ear, stick pinky out (of the same hand) and it should land in precisely in the center. If it doesn't your face is out of alignment and you made need a to draw a grid.)

17. Apply two coats of Stila Lip polish in "Glaze" and you're done.

And that's all there is too it.

You're welcome.


By Sharon Grehan-Howes




DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved