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Bagging Your Blue-Collar Beau
By Rebecca Ash
You've chased CEO's,
snogged stockbrokers, and enticed executives. You've agreed to blind dates
with your mother's friend's attorneys, logged on to computer matchmaking
services, and trolled many a Thursday night Happy Hour until everybody
knew your name (and cocktail limit). And all you've gotten from it was
a hangover, a stalker, and a nasty cold sore. Just when you think you've
exploited all your resources and resigned yourself to sleeping with a
cat instead of sleeping with a cad, a tall, dark, and handsome man croons,
"Would you like to hear today's specials?"
You've been so busy
hunting head honchos and Wall Street wannabes that you've completely overlooked
a treasure trove of potential mates: blue-collar boys. Gone are the paper-hat
sporting geeks and greasy goons of yesteryear. The service worker of the
new millennium is ambitious, attentive, well rounded, and hot hot hot!
With the job market being so competitive and more and more individuals
not willing to slave away behind a desk, the service industry is rife
with modern day Renaissance men. As this is undoubtedly uncharted territory
for you, here is a guide to seducing your service worker.
Be a "regular"
without being regular. Frequent your love-interest's place of employment
often enough for him to get to know you but not often enough for it to
appear that you have no life. Try to stand out. If he is in the food service
industry, have an unusual order without becoming a nuisance (waiters hate
extravagantly special orders. You'll appear high maintenance and picky.).
Avoid times of heavy traffic, when you'll be lost in a sea of customers.
Keep the banter light and flirty. Tip well if tips are accepted (note:
it is not acceptable to tip retail clerks, mechanics, cable repairmen,
or police officers.)
Dress down. This
does not mean to completely forego looking superb; just tone it down a
notch. Save the Prada for a special occasion. If you appear to be label-conscious
or too trendy it may be off-putting for someone in the hospitality industry.
You want to be approachable and down-to-earth. Go for the "girl next-door"
type. Think Isaac Mizrahi for Target rather than Isaac Mizrahi for Fashion
Prepare to go Dutch. While on a date with a blue-collar boy, always be prepared to split the bill. Have it handy and offer to pay your share even on the off chance that he may not accept. He will be impressed with your generosity and not view you as a gold digger, thereby earning his respect and trust. Plus he will not expect you to repay him in sexual favors (unless you want to). Keep the bills lower than a fifty, and leave your black American Express at home.
Know your sports.
White-collar men are often too busy to keep up with that genetically
programmed interest called sports. But a blue-collar gent relishes a good
game and generally knows the score. Find out what sport he enjoys the
most (it's usually embroidered on his hat) and bone up on the players
and game info.
So what kind of blue-collar boy should you pursue? There are so many! The possibilities include:
No matter which blue-collar beau catches your fancy, you're sure to have some good old-fashioned fun getting down and dirty. Put aside your inner princess at least until you get the check. Yeehaw!
© 2006 Rebecca Ash
OTHER HW ARTICLES BY REBECCA ASH
Rebecca Ash is a nomadic freelance writer and thespian. She lives with her husband and two mini dachshunds, Melody and Emma, in a domicile ruled by the iron paw of the fat feline Queen Bink. It is her dream to someday be able to support her shoe and bag fetish while still being able to pay the cable bill.