we all know that more and more of us are becoming involved
in politics now more than ever before. For instance, our current
president has a lady National Security Advisor (Candyleeezzza
Rice) and even has two daughters, in comparison to
former President Clinton's one.
You too can delve into the political
realm! But why limit yourself to America? There are internships
and volunteer positions available in almost every government
in the world.
For your benefit, we have edited
a short guide to the most attractive heads of state in the
world, so that when you begin your political career, there
will be no need to toil beneath an unattractive boss (or husband,
should you choose to marry your particular head of state.)
Dr. Sampaio, born Sept. 18, 1939. We can't resist his
adorable glasses and excellent choice in necktie-wear.
Dr. Sampaio says that he's looking for a girl who "will
make me laugh, but somebody that I can just sit and hold
hands with, too." Helpful note: If you pursue a
career with Dr. Sampaio, keep in mind that his name is
not pronounced "George," but "Whore-hay."
Try not to laugh when you say it.
SWAZILAND: King Mswati
III, born April 19, 1968. One of our younger heads of
state, we couldn't resist the sexy, shirtless pictures
of the king posted on his website,
wearing only ceremonial guard and a mischievous smile!
His bio states that "he is good in subjects like
mathematics, English, Science, as well as Home Economics,"
which means that your hands might touch as you're doing
the laundry together! The King is also perfect choice
for ladies who are easily wooed by romantic dinners!
MEXICO: President Vicente
Fox, born July 2, 1942. President Fox, having worked
in the past, and being friendly with our own President
Bush, is perfect for girls who are looking for a taste
of the exotic, while still looking for a guy close to
home. Vicente's turn-ons include: "A great smile,
an athletic build, and a healthy appetite!" Turn
offs: "Girls who look in the mirror too much, who
are too gossipy, and who have scabby knees. I know that's
really shallow, but it really bugs me!" What turns
us on about Presidente Foxy is his sexy mustache.
AUSTRALIA: Dr. Peter
Hollingworth was born on 10 April 1935, and has been
capturing ladies' hearts ever since. "Hellingsworth,"
as he's referred to for his nonstop boyish antics, is
for our girls who go for more mature guys, as the good
Doctor will be turning 68 this spring. "I'm just
a regular joe at heart," he says. "Like all
other Australians, I like cooking on the barbie, surfing,
fighting crocodiles, and traveling via kangaroo!"
G'day, President Mate!
ONES TO WATCH:
For our younger readers, we have
also included a short list of up-and-coming monarchs and leaders,
so keep your eyes out for them!
Prince Carl Philip, born May 13, 1979. Prince William
who? We fell in love with the Prince's adorable dimples,
and were really impressed by his love of the great outdoors.
"I'm really shy," he confessed, "so I
like aggressive girl who'll come up to me." Admittedly,
the Prince is only second in line for the throne, but
hopefully his older sister will die or be kidnapped in
the future so he can claim the title himself.
JORDAN: Hamzah bin
Hussein Crown Prince of Jordan, born March 29th 1980.
Our young prince received the Sandhurst Overseas Sword,
granted to the best overseas cadet and the HRH Prince
Saud Abdullah Prize, presented to the cadet with the
best aggregate mark in academic subjects; served as an
officer in the Jordan Arab Army's 40th Armored Brigade
and blah blah blah blah blah. He's a prince and he's
good looking. Is there anything else you need to know?
VATICAN: Even though
he's a hottie for the ages, there's no doubt that our
man John Paul has seen better days. Sooner or later we'll
be having a new pontiff. Let's just hope he's a major
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Claire Zulkey lives in Chicago and would
very much like a patron or sugar daddy or something. She has been published
on McSweeney's Internet Tendency and Modern Humorist. She would be mighty
pleased if you stopped by her site, www.zulkey.com.
Here is a terrible joke as your reward for reading this entire bio:
Q. Want to hear my impression of Elizabeth Taylor?
A. I think she's pretty nice