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Dear Libby

My daughter, Caroline, has never been really, well as much as I hate to say it, popular at school until recently when we got a pool. Now all the children who formerly shunned her, are over every day. How do I tell her that they only like her for what she has now?

Anne K., Tottenham

Dear Mommy Dearest:

Looks like you're the one who needs to be taken aside and talked to kindly. Caroline obviously has the situation in control, she has come to grips with the fact that if you are not goodlooking it's not who you are but what you have.

Many mothers of homely children (see our neat do-it-yourself human cloning project to prevent these kind of kids by the way) many mothers make the mistake of telling children to try and get by on their personalitly. The results can be tragic. Three words: Kathie Lee Gifford. Relax, the kid has under control and will obviously marry well.

DEAR LIBBY : For the past few months my boss has been making inappropriate passes at me. I am very, very uncomfortable even going to work. Quitting is difficult as the employment rate in my town is very low and I'm unmarried with two children to support. Yesterday, he told me there would be a big promotion in my future if I just learned to co-operate.What should I do?

Joanne Moore, Tennessee

Dear Joanne: Congratulations on the promotion!

DEAR LIBBY: I think my husband Michael is cheating on me. He keeps claiming that he has to work late, but he's a postman so I think that's unlikely. When he comes in he smells of cheap perfume and sometimes his clothes are on inside out. I am so angry what should I do? Should I confront him?

Marie, Pennsylvania

Poor, deluded Marie. Of course he's cheating on you. But I before we jump all over him I think we should examine the cause.

First off, let's look at your personality.The most obvious flaw of course is your anger, but when you're not whining, you're hollering about confrontation and I've only know you 30 seconds

What must it be like to live with you? And your behaviour is shocking. Would you enjoy being sniffed when you come home? What are you--a bloodhound? And then there's the nit-picking. Would you enjoy someone watching to see if your clothes are on properly? No my dear, you can't pin this one on Michael.

I suggest you get some counseling my dear, and drop a few pounds, you sound fat.

Confidential to Uma in Ft.Lauderdale: You must know how you got in there for heaven's sake, try Vaseline, and if that doesn't work you're gonna have to call 911.

Confidential to Sore Afraid in Reno: Did you email her the picture you sent me? If so that could explain everything.The internet is not the place for truth. You had one chance to be dashing, handsome and interesting and you blew it. Forget about Hanna and join a club so you can meet people with similar interests. You probably won't get a date, but at least you'll get out more.

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