PUBLISHED MONTHLY
EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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New TV Season Preview!

By Elizabeth Hanes

The summer doldrums are almost over. Soon, the kids will be back in school and the new television viewing season will be upon us. You can expect to see new programs debuting as early as September, while the season-openers of our favorites will follow soon after --in February, 2002.

With so much new drama, comedy, dramedy, and suspense about to take over the airwaves, you can't possibly know which shows will be worthwhile viewing. That's why we've done the hard part for you! Here are reviews of the major new offerings for the upcoming season.

NBC

They took us inside the emergency room with E.R.They took us inside the White House with West Wing. Now, NBC takes us inside the seedy, action-packed world of the grocery store with: Aisle 4. Meet Jake Murdoch, hunky manager and heir to the Pumpernickel FoodWay chain of grocery stores. Feel the gut-churning tension as he calls for a "wet clean-up on Aisle 4." See the bagger Billy, Jake's nephew, make courtesy "deliveries" to certain female customers. Shake your head at the off-color antics of Dolly, the delicatessen manager, who routinely undercharges good-looking men. Hold your breath when Jake's wife, Sarah, announces over the store intercom that a customer needs assistance in the personal healthcare aisle. This gripping drama surely is "must-see TV" at its best!

ABC

Searching desperately for a hit, and anxious to cash in on the reality TV craze, Disney-owned ABC has developed a surefire winner: The World of Diamond Slim. In this wild, Seussian program, a tiny video camera is attached to the collar of Michael Eisner's painfully thin (but avowedly not anorexic) cat, Diamond Slim. Where she goes, you go! And, as it turns out, Mr. Eisner's neighbors were right: his cat goes constantly in their flowerbed. William Shatner narrates the program, reading his own Dr. Seuss-inspired verse. One scene, for example, presents Slim peering up at a bird in Eisner's oak tree, while Shatner intones: "What's this I see, what can it be / Soon I'll scoot right up your tree / Then a featherless bird you'll be!" You'll thrill to such family-oriented entertainment as Diamond Slim sleeping the day away under Mr. Eisner's desk. Slim upchucking a hairball on Mr. Eisner's plush bathroom carpeting. Slim getting vaccinated at the vet. Slim getting frisky with the tomcat next door. Yes, ABC finally has a major hit on its hands. Don't miss this one!

 

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© 2001 Elizabeth Hanes