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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Fashion Outrage!

The new line from Goobana and Dulce has the world of fashion reeling.

Goobana and Dulce the most influential designers in the world, released their new line "le normal" in Milan this week. The beauty world is still trembling from it's impact.

"I just can't believe this is happening" sniffed Vague editor Jessica Thompson after the show where she was recovering in a local emergency room "This is irresponsible."

Happy Woman tried to obtain photos of the line that is set to topple the toggery world, but the images were seized by fashion authorities at the border.

Goobana and Dulce Representative Receives Death Threats

We were able to talk to a heavily guarded representative of Goobana and Dulce on the condition that we not reveal his name or his whereabouts.

"We were not trying to revolutionize the world, we just wanted to create apparel for 'normal' women.

"Our models were carefully selected professional women aged 35-70. They were all at a healthy weight and were between 5'4 - 5' 6 inches tall. We insisted that they not wear make-up and that they style their own hair to suit themselves.

"We thought it made good business sense to make clothes that women could actually wear and we still believe it. We have been absolutely swamped with orders, but we were not prepared for this outcry. We didn't think it would be such a bit deal."

Diet Industry Impact

"Not a big deal?" snorts diet industry expert Tiffany Amber White. "It may not seem like a big deal to them, but to us it is deadly serious. This industry is a billion dollar one. Thousands of people could be out of work.

"If they manipulate women into believing that's it's OK to carry around a few extra pounds this whole business could collapse. To give you an idea: men all ready think it's OK to weigh a little more than the average consequently the men's diet and fashion industry is in the toilet.

"I hope Goobana and Dulce will be able to sleep at night with thousands of personal trainers roaming the streets looking for work. It'll be like Oklahoma in the thirties."


Photo courtesy of Damon Hart Davis

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved