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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Your Grout Could Be Killing You!

The latest home hazard.

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

A special report commissioned by the Committee for Special Reports released their scientific findings on grout yesterday. The results are startling.

Epoxy resin also known as grout (pronounced gr-out or gr-oot if you are Canadian) used to hold ceramic tiles in place presents the following health hazards:

If you are laughing up your sleeve because you chose cement grout think again. Improperly treated cement grout can become a medium for Bacteria which of course leads to death and Overweight sedentary smokers with ceramic tile in their homes suffered high incidences of lung cancer, diabetes and heart disease.

Sobering Facts


Renowned activist Renee Heller: "When I found out these results I was appalled. I'm home-schooling my children because their classroom was toxic and now this? I've forbidden apples because of Alar we threw out our cell phone and electric blankets because of EMF's got rid of our aluminum cookware while we are still able to remember to do so. How do we keep our children safe?"

Heller has started an Azure Ribbon Campaign to put an end to the madness.

A spokesman for the Public Safety Commission, Jeffery Davison, was questioned about this alarming report.

"Yes it is true that epoxy resin can release hazardous fumes but you would have to burn it, and I don't really understand why someone would do that. You would only experience eye and skin irritation after repeated exposure to uncured epoxy and improperly treated cement grout can harbour bacteria, but you would have to actually ingest large quantities of it for it to present a significant risk."

That is where women are most at risk states activist Heller. "Women are more inquisitive, so they are more likely to eat grout than men are."



DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved