 Your
Guy's Most Secret Thoughts!
What is he
really thinking when you are together? We asked four men to give us a boo
into their brains!
By Sharon Grehan-Howes
John
Whenever
I go to a wedding I always find myself wondering how hot the groom must
be in his tux. I wonder why the minister always needs to hold a book because
you'd think he'd have it memorized by now unless he's new. I wonder how
they train a new minister. Do they have an old minister stand by and correct
you if you say something stupid like mix up Judas for Jesus?
I sometimes
wonder how much it would cost to heat a church and whether or or not I could
stand living with such high ceilings. I try to figure out how much paint you'd
need to do the ceiling and wonder if you'd have to build a scaffold or if
you could rent one. If you built one then you'd have it again if you ever
needed to repaint but where would you keep it?
I then figure
out if you had a church you'd probably have room for a pretty big garage so
there would be lots of room for stuff like scaffolding and you could put plywood
across the scaffold and use it for shelves when you aren't using it for painting.
I could probably
get a motorcycle and put spare parts on the scaffold. I'd put it at one end
and I'd have a workbench at the other end. I'd get a fridge, a comfy chair
and a radio and put them in the middle.
I sometimes
wonder what the bridesmaid looks like naked but it depends on the wedding.
Michael
After we
make love and my wife is snuggled up next to me, she usually asks me what
I'm thinking. I used to say nothing but I realized that's the wrong answer
so I tell her I'm thinking about her. What I'm usually thinking about
though, is a ham sandwich.
Not the plastic
kind of ham but the good meaty kind of ham the kind you get at Christmas.
I picture a huge Kaiser roll smothered in hot mustard with a very small layer
of butter, sometimes I put lettuce on it but not always, I plop a nice big
hunk of Swiss on it and finish it off with a slice of beefsteak tomato.
I imagine
myself washing this down with a nice cold beer while sitting on the porch
watching the guys across the street doing construction. I think of how
cool it would be to be paid to smash things with a hammer. I wonder if
you get really good at it if they give you a nickname like Demolition
Man. I try to remember if there was a Demolition Man superhero and then
I wonder what happened to my old comic books and if they'd be worth something
today. Then I wonder what kind of sandwiches the constructions guys have
then I start thinking of the ham sandwich again.
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