 The
Happy Woman Rules
(Track
Him, Trick Him, Trap Him!)
Meeting
Him
Show up
at as many social occasions as you can-- you're not going to meet Mr.
Right in your bathtub! Birthday and office parties—even funerals
(you stand a good chance of meeting at least one unattached person)
are terrific hunting grounds.
Crashing
bachelor parties, cruising strip joints are ideal ways of meeting unattached
and attached (you can deal with that later) men.
Mr. Right
may all ready be in your life! Look at the men around you. Think of
the intimate bonds you have already forged with your lawyer, accountant
and gynecologist.
The
First Date
Make sure
to tell him what jerks your other boyfriends were. This will make him
him feel superior to them.
Be completely
honest. Tell him about the time you poured sugar in the gas tank of
the boyfriend who dumped you after two dates and tell him how the shock
of catching your ex in bed with his assistant landed you in a mental
institution.
If you're
a single mother, don't tell him about the little one(s) until he's made
a commitment.
Flirt with
the waiter to show him how attractive you are to the opposite sex.
Order the
most expensive thing on the menu, take one bite and claim you are "sooooo
full". This will illustrate your complexity. It will reveal that you
appreciate good food but care too much about your body to eat it.
Tell him
right off the bat you are looking for marriage children and an SUV.
There's no sense wasting time, after all the clock is ticking!
Seal the
deal by sleeping with him.
MORE
>>
©2000-2001Sharon
Grehan www.happywomanmagazine.com
Please Note: This
is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally
took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet.
The interviews are not real and the interviewers
are not real.
Complete list of articles
past and present.
Photo
by Amy Trustram Eve
Courtesy
of www.d.hd.org
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