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EST. May 2000 (AD)




The Happy Woman Rules

(Track Him, Trick Him, Trap Him!)


Meeting Him

Show up at as many social occasions as you can-- you're not going to meet Mr. Right in your bathtub!

Birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, river cruises, office parties—even funerals (you stand a good chance of meeting at least one unattached person) are terrific hunting grounds. Crashing bachelor parties, cruising strip joints and peep shows are ideal ways of meeting unattached and attached (you can deal with that later) men.

Mr. Right may already be in your life! Look at the men around you. Think of the intimate bonds you have already forged with your lawyer, accountant and gynecologist.

The First Date

Make sure to tell him what jerks your other boyfriends were. This will make him him feel superior to them.

Be completely honest. Tell him about the time you poured sugar in the gas tank of the boyfriend who dumped you after two dates and tell him how the shock of catching your ex in bed with his assistant landed you in a mental institution.

If you're a single mother, don't tell him about the little one(s) until he's made a commitment.

Flirt with the waiter to show him how attractive you are to the opposite sex.

Order the most expensive thing on the menu, take one bite and claim you are "sooooo full". This will illustrate your complexity. It will reveal that you appreciate good food but care too much about your body to eat it.

Tell him right off the bat you are looking for marriage children and an SUV. There's no sense wasting time, after all the clock is ticking!

Seal the deal by sleeping with him.


©2000-2001Sharon Grehan www.happywomanmagazine.com

Please Note: This is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet. The interviews are not real and the interviewers are not real.

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DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved