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EST. May 2000 (AD)




Supermodel Moms To Be

Egregious: Its amazing, its sort of like something is growing in you, its hard to explain. To know that that something keeps getting bigger and bigger. I had a cyst once but it was nothing like this

My trainer/husband says I've never looked more beautiful that I'm positively glowing. I know he's lying because he refers to overweight people as fat pigs but I do appreciate his sensitivity. If it's a girl we are going to name her Brian and if its a boy were going to name him Molly.

Santas: I didn't know I was pregnant until I was five months along, I haven't had a regular period since I was eight so I didn't notice anything for a while but two months ago I went to the doctor when I felt something moving. We'd had sushi the night before and I was really frightened that the fish wasn't dead when I ate it. You can imagine my relief when I found out it was going to be a baby instead of a tuna.

I have big plans for this baby I have so much I want to teach it. I can teach it how to swim and tell it all about the two basic food groups. I think its going to be a riot having someone to hang around with all the time.

Jessica Sang: Its a real spiritual thing, its like something that is bigger than you only not really because then you would tip over. I feel in touch with myself and my feelings for the first time since I got the cover of Vogue.

I've been researching Eastern philosophies and religions with a Western influence. I've pretty well designed my own. I want to be everything to this child. Mother , preacher advisor, friend, personal trainer. This child will be a smaller version of me at first and then it will grow larger as time goes by. I put my faith in Buddha and Jesus and ask for tranquility so that my child will be born in a peaceful atmosphere.

Suze: this is my second child so I know what look forward to. My first child Jejeune has been the light of my life. Whenever I visit her in Switzerland I feel whole. I share her joys and triumphs whenever I get a free moment. I also learned from my mistakes because this time I m pretty sure who the father is. It is difficult being a single mother, having to reorganize my life for her yearly visits so this time I've learned to prioritize. I put myself first, and my career second.

Copper: To be honest I thought this would ruin my career but thanks to Cindy motherhood is pretty hot right now, so the timing was good.

I worry about all the normal things, will this child be healthy, smart, pretty, thin. Will I lose the seven pounds I've gained so far, but all those things seem unimportant when I start to look ahead when I will actually see my little daughter or son posing next to me that makes all of this worthwhile.

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2018 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved