If you are
like most of us and find your hair falling out in clumps, your nails bitten
to the quick and your skin the colour of old corn, you are probably under
stress.
Stress can put
you at increased risk for the development of high blood pressure and it has
been associated with heart disease. These are not good things.
We've brought
you a week by week plan guaranteed to cut down on that killer ick-meister;
Stress.
Week One
Learn to
relax.
Take afternoon
naps at your workstation.
Have a leisurely
sponge bath in the restroom at the mall.
Place a "Soon"
and a "Maybe" box on top of your In/Out boxes.
Arrive late,
leave early.
If you find yourself
late in picking up the youngsters at soccer practice, call the police and
report them missing. Use the time you've gained to get a pedicure.
Realize your
stress triggers and set about eliminating them:
Throw out bills
as they arrive.
Reconcile yourself
to the fact that your children will never have to learn anything but the phrase
"Do you want fries with that" and use the college fund for a big
screen TV.
Recognize that
you will probably never reach the goals you've set for yourself, so set different
easier goals. For example instead of losing that 15 pounds aim to be
the fattest woman in the world.
Week Two
Learn how
to have fun!
Take some time
out of your schedule to play, bring your inner child to work and arrange impromptu
games of "Doggy Doggy Who's Got The Bone" and "Mother May I?"
Relieve tension
in the workplace with a few practical jokes. Publish your employer's obituary
or write a pal's name on a bathroom wall in a seedy bar.
Speak only in
babytalk.
Respond to every
question with "I know you are but what am I?.
Instead of rushing
home to make dinner head for a dance club or a casino.
Week Three
Change
your thinking. All this stress could be your own fault. You might
be thinking wrong. Start thinking right.
Week Four
Alter your
stress receptors. If you are a sensitive person other peoples bad
moods could be contagious. When someone tells you their troubles respond by
saying. "I'm sorry, but I care about me. Perhaps there is a help line
out there for you."
If your boss
criticizes your work performance turn the tables by immediately repeating
everything he/she says in a staccato voice. This will make your employer realize
how petty they sound.
If you follow
these tips for the next few weeks it is guaranteed that you will notice definite
changes.
You're Welcome!
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