EST. May 2000 (AD)


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Parents in Tiaras

By Diana Aviles Shields

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the Discovery Channel is scheduled to add a rebuttal to TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras in their fall line-up.  In this documentary investigation, recruited pageant mothers and some fathers have agreed to become the contestants in an attempt to examine their reactions when placed in this role reversal.

This "Freaky Friday" twist will dress these parents up in all the glitter of "Wow Wear" and hair sprayed big hair not to mention the smile perfection created with the application of their own customized "flippers".

Psychologists will have front line observation in their roles as judges in the Grand Supreme Extremely Brilliant Parent Pageant. The contestants will mirror all events they have lovingly pressured their Red Bull filled offspring to endure on the road to sure fame and their early retirement.

The costumes and productions will be duplicated down to the last bugle-bead and disco ball. In the quest for transparency in the reality exploitation of the American family; the cameras will follow the parents as they are spray tanned from top to bottom, fitted into their rhinestone polyester glam wear, and practice their talent routines until they also faint from exhaustion.

Regardless of their body mass index or measured talent these parents will be expected to strut around the stage bobbing their heads back and forth while puckering their lips at the judges with their fists under their chins.

Discovery has guaranteed that medical assistance will be on site for any emergency along with mini-bars filled with Red Bull and candy. Filming has already begun in the southern states where pageants are second only to football. Some of the children of these contestants have opted out of being "pageant parents" to swim and play in the hotel's Kiddie Day Care Camp like the "normal" kids.

The Reporter has learned that the latest word on the shoot is that these conscientious celebrity driven parents are willing and ready with tiaras in sight. Discovery is excited that their "Parents in Tiaras" are ready for their close-ups.

©2012 Diana Aviles Shields


Diana Aviles Shields hasfound a corner to write after many years of being in the wrong room. She has a flare for dramatics which was confirmed years ago by her degree in Drama from USC. Now,she writes happily as all excuses are gone.