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EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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Quiz: Are Relationship Quizzes Ruining Your Relationship?

Take this quiz now and find out!

By Jeanne Bellezzo

If you and your man have taken dozens of relationship quizzes in a desperate quest to find out what’s missing from your life together, you need to take this quiz!

According to a recent study by the Institute of Recent Studies, 96 percent of women in heterosexual relationships have a boyfriend, lover or husband (or all three) who hates taking quizzes—and their relationships may be in danger. Are you one of them? Find out now!

Make yourself a nice cup of antioxidant acai chai green tea with hibiscus and answer the questions below. No cheating! 

1. How early in a relationship do you start taking relationship quizzes?

a.        During the first month

b.       During the first date

c.        While I’m browsing match.com

2. How often do you insist that your man take a relationship quiz?

a.        Several times a year

b.       Several times a month

c.        Several times a day

3. How does your man react when you ask tell him to take a quiz?

a.        Eye roll and heavy sigh

b.       Feigns interest

c.        Feigns death

4. Which answer is your man most likely to get correct?

a.        My hopes and dreams

b.       The names of my best friends

c.        My first and last name

5. How often do you change his answers because you think you know better?

  1. Sometimes
  2. Often
  3. I always know better

6. When you and your man finish a quiz, what is the usual result?

a.        We have sex

b.       We have a fight

c.        We speed-dial our attorneys

7. How do you react if your man refuses to take a quiz?

a.        I am mildly upset

b.       I accuse him of having an affair

c.        I take it for him and then we fight about his answers

8. How do you react if you get a low score on your relationship quiz?

a.        I am mildly upset

b.       I accuse him of having an affair

c.        I re-take it for him and then we fight about his answers

9. How seriously do you take relationship quizzes?

a.        They’re just fun

b.       They identify weaknesses in our relationship

c.        They determine whether we file for divorce

10. Which of the following would your man rather do than take a relationship quiz?

a.        Watch “The View”

b.       Receive a hot poker in the eye

c.        All of the above

11. Are you going to make your man take this quiz?

a.        If he wants to

b.       Is that a rhetorical question?

c.        I’m already making him take it with me

Scoring:

Give yourself 1 point for every “a” answer, 2 points for every “b” answer and 3 points for every “c” answer. Add up your points and see how you scored!

a.        1-11: You have a healthy perspective on quizzes.  Your man is either extremely tolerant, or is Dr. Phil. Go ahead and get another cat.

b.       12-22: You may be a bit high-maintenance. (See quiz: “Are You High-Maintenance?”) Your man hides all of the pens and pencils in the house whenever a new magazine arrives. 

c.        13-33: Your man breaks into a cold sweat whenever anyone asks him a question, such as “What time is it?” He may be having an affair. (See quiz: “Is He Having an Affair?”)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeanne Bellezzo, a freelance writer in Encinitas, California, is amused by her boyfriend’s adamant refusal to take relationship quizzes. Visit her satirical blog, Rantings of a Bitter Childless Woman (The Mommy Blog’s Evil Twin) blog.childlessrantings.com

Other HW Quizzes

Is He Cheating?

Have You Been on a Date?

Are You Boring?

Are You in Labour?