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EST. May 2000 (AD)

 
 

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Health & Fitness

Lose 21 lbs in 3 Weeks!

Editor's Note: We would sincerely like to apologize to all the people who died on this diet. We believe we have isolated the cause— we neglected to include any food in Day 4. Ooops! We've made the appropriate changes below:

Day 1

Breakfast:

1/4 apple, 2 raisins and 1/2 pineapple round (for garnish)

Lunch:

One rice cake, top surface removed, one thoroughly dry lettuce leaf, one dill pickle spear skin removed,one slice orange (for garnish).

Dinner:

One skin of baked potato 4 kernels of corn, one cherry tomato and one 1/4 chicken thigh grilled (for garnish)

Day Two

Same as Day one except substitute cantaloupe slice for garnish at lunch

Day Three

Same as Day one except replace chicken thigh with tablespoon of tuna for garnish.

Day Four

One Dr. Pepper and four bing cherries

Day Five

Breakfast and lunch the same Dinner add four Oscar Meyer™ Frankfurters.

Rotate For Three Weeks. (Rotate the diet not yourself as you will get very, very dizzy.)


To help you on this diet:

Drink 15-16 glasses of water a day.

Use laxatives generously.

You may experience problems standing or speaking after day three so try to stay as close to home as possible.

If you experience loss of vision after day two, go directly to day five.

An enema will probably be required day one of the second rotation--make sure it is fat free.

If you experience insomnia or hallucinations, take three tablets of Dramamine™, this will make you sleep 14-16 hours. If you don't wake up, consult a doctor.