EST. May 2000 (AD)


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The Sheep Shearer's Workout.


This routine is supreme in it's simplicity. Follow this workout everyday for the next 21 days and you'll go from yuck to yowie in no time!

What you will need:

Handpieces, combs and cutters (optional)

A grinder (optional)

A catching pen (optional)

A counting out pen (optional)

12 sheep per day. (required)

First Step

Do some simple stretching exercises as a warm-up--Do not skip this step.

Second Step

Round up the sheep in the catching pen. Be very careful not to hurt your back. Grab the sheep and turn it's head around until it drops in front of you. Using your arms pull the sheep up.

Third Step

Using the comb and cutter shear the wool in a set pattern. Be very careful not to nick the scrotum of the sheep (if male) or the teats of a ewe. This does not affect the fitness aspect but it is very messy.


Fourth Step

Repeat previous steps, release the sheep into the counting pen or the street if you live in an apartment, gather the wool, spin the fleece into yarn, and whip up a yummy sweater for yourself!

That's all there is to it!!!


If you cannot find sheep, large dogs will do nicely--just don't shear or slaughter them because dogs are cute.

A bedroom or den doubles nicely as a holding pen if you live in an apartment.

Have plenty of garbage bags laid out on the floor. Sheep can be very, very nervous.