Est. 2000 (A.D.)

The Happy Woman Soup Diet

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

 

This diet is guaranteed to melt off the pounds and make you happier and more desirable than you have ever been!

 

While other diets rely on tiresome choices and confusing food groups, this diet is a breeze, just open a can of consomme and Voila!

 

Breakfast

 

6 oz Soup

 

Lunch

 

6 oz Soup

 

Dinner

 

6 oz Soup

 

Snack

 

3 oz soup

 

Second Day

 

Breakfast

 

6 oz Soup

 

Lunch

 

6 oz Soup

 

Dinner

 

6 oz Soup

 

Snack

 

3 oz soup

 

Third Day

 

Breakfast

 

6 oz Soup

 

Lunch

 

6 oz Soup

 

Dinner

 

6 oz Soup

 

Snack

 

3 oz soup

 

Repeat the rotation. For added variety you may change the days around. For example: Day Two, Day One, Day Three on your second rotation.

 

Notes of caution:

 

You may find your thought processes slow as the brain burns ketones, so put off any major decisions until you are thin.

 

Ketone bodies can accumulate in the blood and cause dehydration, nausea, weakness, dizziness and ketones are sometimes produced by the liver at levels high enough to be toxic to the brain.

 

It is best not to exercise on this diet as this may lead to Metabolic Acidosis (buildup of ketones toxic to brain function).This could lead to coma and ultimately death.

 

You may experience toxic accumulations in the colon and the loss of teeth and hair. If this happens it is recommended that you add a whole wheat cracker.

 

Once you come off the diet you may find that you regain all the weight withing 48 hours. To avoid this we recommend staying on the diet.

 

©2000 Sharon Grehan-Howes

 

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2022 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved