Est. 2000 (A.D.)

Miracle Drugs and Diets:

Our Readers Share their Stories!

 

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

 

 

 

We hear it all the time, medical professionals pooh poohing new diets and pills, telling us the only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise blah, blah blah. But we discovered we have something that the medical community doesn't have-- desperate hope!

 

We asked our readers to give us their success stories maybe you will find the right miracle cure for you!

 

 

Drugs:

 

Redux

 

I had to gain 20 pounds to be a candidate for the drug but it was worth it!! The dry mouth was gone in only 6 weeks and I was able to talk and answer the phone and everything. I 'm drowsy a lot of the time at work but I put cushion in front of my keyboard to keep from bruising. I have shortness of breath, chest pain, fainting, swelling of the legs, ankles, and feet but I feel great!!!

 

I've lost ten pounds so far!

 

Julie Senton

 

Xenical

 

Xenical blocks one third of the fat I eat. I can still indulge in ice-cream sundaes and potato ships with absolutely no guilt!!!

 

The oily discharge is off-putting at first and the inability to control bowel movements has caused much hilarity in our house. But what does a few extra loads of laundry and being housebound compare to melting off the pounds!

 

I am so looking forward to the day I've lost all the weight and I can leave the house and my Depends behind!

 

Maggie Cooper

 

Phenylpropanolamine

 

I had a little bit of bleeding into the brain but I lost a ton of weight in the hospital.

 

Once I regain the use of my right arm I'm going to pursue my dream of acting. Something I couldn't even think about when I was fat.

 

Vanessa Hill

 

 

 

Herbal Remedies

 

 

Cellasene

 

I just wanted to get rid of my cream cheese thighs so Cellasene is an answer to my prayer! It's supposed to to increase blood circulation, reduce fluid buildup, stimulate metabolism and reduce localized fats.

 

It's a win/win situation to me because if it doesn't work I can join the class action lawsuit!

 

Annette Gaudet

 

Metabolife

 

This is a miracle drug. I've lost 12 pounds in three weeks. I've had a few minor side effects like stomach cramping, panic attacks nervous shakes hallucinations and two seizures. I may not be able to drive anymore, but by the summer I will finally be able to wear a bathing suit again!

 

Megan Anderson

 

Ephedra

 

Editor's Note:

 

Suze Longsford was supposed to tell us about her experience with Ephedra but she is still in intensive care. Get Well Soon Suze!

 

 

 

Diets:

 

 

Atkins Diet Low Carb

 

I've been on this diet for 9 months. People look at me in awe when I order steak and eggs for breakfast and no one can believe that I have lost so much weight eating prime rib for lunch!

 

I'm still a little constipated, nauseated weak, dehydrated and my kidneys are failing. but I love being able to eat all the meat and cheese I want!

 

Annie Conner

 

Weight Watcher's

 

I have successfully lost all my excess weight and learned healthy eating with the weight watcher's program---Twelve times!!!

 

The people are nice and the 1-2-3- program takes away the thinking. I've met many friends over the twenty year's I've been going. Whenever I go back it's just like old-home week.This program really works every single time.

 

Cindy Patterson

 

 © Sharon Grehan-Howes

 

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2022 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved