Candidates' Wives Hear Celebrity Decorator

 

By Tomasina Lynn

 

With the 2008 presidential election still very much up for grabs, potential First Ladies (or First Consorts in the case of the Clintons) may already be thinking about redecorating the White House. On January 5, 2008, candidates' wives attended a lecture in Manchester, New Hampshire by celebrity decorator and feng shui consultant Liliane Stamp, whose loudly-applauded talk was based on her new book Feng Shui Your Husband,* from which the following passage is reproduced.

 

 

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DO you frequently feel listless and sad and don't know why? Are your relationships in tatters? Do you sometimes just want to pour gasoline over your husband while he's having breakfast, light a match and then sit back with a nice cup of coffee and enjoy the bonfire? Well, take a number.

 

As a feng shui consultant, I have been asked the same question time and time again by women just like you: "Liliane, how can I achieve balance, harmony, and prosperity in every aspect of my life without committing a felony?" The answer is: you can't. But the ancient Chinese art of feng shui can help you to achieve some of your goals.

 

First, the basics. What is feng shui? Feng shui originated in China over 4,000 years ago. The main principle of feng shui is that everything in your surroundings, down to the smallest detail of furnishing and decor, is out to get you. Hence, the number one rule of all feng shui: never allow clutter to develop.

 

While feng shui is something of a well-kept secret here in America, in Asia, ninety percent of businesses employ expert consultants to feng shui their offices. Using compasses, calendars, color chart and feng shui enhancers such as wealth-creating three-legged toads and the all-auspicious dragons that breathe precious Chi into your space's water features, feng shui consultants are uniquely qualified to answer technical questions such as how to create romance in a house built in 1952, facing north by northeast and occupied by someone who cannot answer a question without adding the word "obviously" or give you more than a nano-second to reply before sneering Hello?

 

As I travel around the country, another question that I am frequently asked is whether, according to feng shui, husbands may be considered clutter. The answer is that acceptance of negative companion Chi attracts yin energy and causes opportunities to evaporate. Keeping the home clear of spousal yin to facilitate the flow of energy, you will discover that revitalizing your space creates great Chi. Introducing manless living room chic into your life will change the way you look at space forever.

 

Here are three basic rules of feng shui to get you started:

 

Always remember the importance of balancing yin and yang forces. Never have too much of anything, although a diversified portfolio of commercial real estate and blue chip stocks stands for yang energy and enhances Chi.

Companion removal is frequently delayed by the fear of poverty and/or of loneliness. It is during this difficult waiting period that many women have traditionally discovered the benefits of a diet rich in vitamin C and benzodiazepine. The Chinese character for this period of delay may be literally translated as "to push under carpet with broom." Remember, however, that by actually removing the clutter, you will be inviting fresh yang Chi into your home.

 

Once you are guided by the ancient principle of Yu, you will have good feng shui.

*Feng Shui Your Husband (New York: Stamp Design Publications, 2008), with a preface by Hilary Rodham Clinton. $24.95. Also available: Feng Shui Your Parents. Feng Shui Your Children. Feng Shui Your In-Laws. Or, buy the set, Feng Shui The Whole Goddamn Family, for only $119.99. Click here to order now.

 

© 2008 Tomasina Lynn