Est. 2000 (A.D.)

LIBBY INTERVIEWS...

CELINE DION

 

Libby

 

Bonjour!

 

Celine

 

Bonjour.

 

Libby

 

That's French for hello.

 

Celine

 

I know.

 

Libby

 

Oui. That means yes.

 

Celine

 

Oui.

 

Libby

 

Yes. Well other than voulez vous couchez avec mois, that's about it for me and French. You're from Canada right?

 

Celine

 

Yes.

 

Libby

 

I have a friend who moved from LA to Vancouver, Gene Astor--do you know her?

 

Celine

 

No...

 

Libby

 

Think...shoulder length brown hair (although she's really gray as a rat) long face, not as long as yours but normal long. Blue eyes, drives a BMW breeds chows...

 

Celine

 

I'm sorry, no.

 

Libby

 

Kind of stocky, although she doesn't think so, has a what she calls a birthmark on her cheek although I'd say it was a mole.

 

Celine

 

I'm sorry, I don't know her.

 

Libby

 

Well, when you get back if you run into her tell her Libby says 'hi' and if she could get back to me about the chinchilla that would be great.

 

She was going to sell it to me because of the fur activists here but now that she's in Canada with all the trappers and all she may have changed her mind.

 

You started singing in Canada when you were 12 is that correct?

 

Celine

 

Yes.

 

Libby

 

And I read that you are the youngest of 14 children?

 

Celine

 

Yes.

 

Libby

 

You Canadians are just like the Irish! But I guess it's different in Canada, you have to do something to make time pass.

 

Your first single was a hit and you caught the eye of your current husband.

 

Celine

 

Yes, that's true.

 

Libby

 

You were 12 and he was 26 years older.

 

Celine

 

Yes.

 

Libby

 

Uh huh. Probably things are different way down in Canada but here--well we have laws and all-- anyway you became a big star in your hometown of Quebec. Which no offense, isn't that big a deal. It's kind of like being a big star in Twinkle Toes Iowa, but then Humbert Humbert was able to make you a big star in the US! That took some work!

 

Celine

 

I did the title soundtrack for Beauty and The Beast and it was very well received.

 

Libby

 

I've got to ask you something Celine.

 

Celine

 

Yes?

 

Libby

 

What's with all the yelling? I mean in my day we had the greats, Judy, Billie, Doris, Edie and they could sing a song that would curl your toes. But girls these days. Jeez! You start off soft and reel everyone in, then a few seconds later you're hollering your fool heads off.

 

I guess there's more of an excuse for you to do it considering where you're from. I'm sure you need that kind of vocal range to shout for a neighbour in an emergency but you got your Whitney and what's her name and then there's that other one.

 

That duet you did with Barbra and don't get me wrong I love Barbra but it shattered three panes in my china cabinet!

 

Celine

 

Everyone has their own unique style I guess.

 

Libby

 

You've got a brand new....what do they call them down in Canada? Papoose?

 

Celine

 

Baby.

 

Libby

 

That's what we call them!

 

Celine

 

Yes, his name Rene-Charles.

 

Libby

 

Bobby's a good name for a child. You never hear of a Bobby in a shoot-out.

 

Anyhoo, I hear that you have a home in Palm Springs. What do you miss most about Canada? The igloos, the snowshoes, the Mounties? What?

 

Celine

 

My family.

 

Libby

 

Oh that is just so darn sweet. Tell you what, I'm planning a visit to Toronto-- I think I pronounced that correctly--in July. I'm really excited I just bought a beautiful parka--red, I don't want any of the natives shooting at me! And if you give me a message I'll pass it along to them, how's that?

 

Celine

 

Uh... that would be fine.

 

Libby

 

Well, you are a lovely young woman and it was a pleasure to interview you. Voulez vous couchez avec mois!

 

Copyright 2001 S.Grehan-Howes

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2022 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved