If You Can Dream It You Can Do It! --Or Can You?

 

 

 

The nasty truth behind the mantra

 

By Sharon Grehan-Howes

 

Maria Glover donned her red satin cape,  applied two coats of Chanel Rouge Coco lipstick, kissed her husband and jumped off the roof of her 70 story apartment building.

 

She survived the fall but the sudden stop at the bottom killed her.

 

Juice Watson sold her beautiful 3-bedroom house in the affluent Forest Glow neighbourhood and bought stocks with the proceeds. The stock went bust and now Juice lives in a Frigidaire box under a bridge by the river.

 

Daniel Mitchell sang “Memory” from the musical Cats while performing a Japanese tea ceremony at a school assembly. He was jeered and booed offstage and was hit by three cars on the way home.

 

What do all of these cases have in common?

 

In each and every case the participant believed the phrase “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

 

Doctor of Parapsychology Madeline Hummer is no stranger to this non-para psychology. “I read about cases like this every day while I wait for my sandwich to be delivered from the deli. From the tragic to the moronic there is always at least one case in the newspaper. It makes me very angry and hungry.”

 

“The thing is,” Dr. Hummer continued while munching on a kosher dill “the theory is disproved over and over again. Maria Glover had a very vivid dream that she could fly and fight crime –Tragically, she had to be picked up from her dream with a shovel. Danny Mitchell was tone deaf but he had a dream he would be the next Lea Salonga. He made a complete fool out of himself. To add insult to injury he was dressed in a rented geisha costume when the cars hit him. He survived despite pulling the plug on himself three times but he owes the costume company $400.00.”

 

Both of them dreamed they could do it. Both of them were deluded.

 

Juice Watson wants to change all that. From her office two inches from her bed and kitchen near the “this side up” symbol in her refrigerator container, Watson is busy collecting case studies and firsthand accounts.

 

“I wanted to be a billionaire. I wanted to be filthy rich.” Juice lamented over a half cup of tea.

 

“I thought I had done all the necessary preparation. I’d attended four Tony Robbins seminar and saw Donald Trump at the Learning Annex not once but TWICE.” Juice wiped away a solitary tear and looked thoughtfully out of the flap of her box.

 

“Over and over and over again I was told that if I wanted to succeed I needed to believe in myself. I repeated “If you can dream it you can do it” over and over to myself. I believed it! But it was a lie!Why didn't anyone warn me?”

 

In North America, hundreds of thousands of people every year are conned into believing that they are able to do something that they cannot or should not by that pernicious quote. It is most evident on television talent shows where kids regularly bleat to the judges "But it’s my dream!"

 

Watson sighed deeply “If only they knew. Singing into a hairbrush in front of a mirror does not make you a singer anymore than twirling makes you a carousel.”

 

Watson took her case to court. She tried to sue for damages last year but as she mistakenly thought the quote was from the Bible she unsuccessfully sued the Pope.

 

“He’s supposed to be God’s representative here on earth. Ha! Just try and subpoena him.” Undeterred, Watson is going to court again. This time the case is against Walt Disney, the acknowledged creator of the quote.

 

“Probably better for me as he has more money than God. If he’s still dead I will sue the park. In any case I am starting a national movement to have that quote changed to “If you can do it, do it. If you can’t don’t.”

 

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© 2013 Sharon Grehan-Howes