Beauty 911

 

By Elize Bergeron

 

Q I am in love with Manolo Blahnik shoes. The only problem is I can't seem to walk or stand in them. I have very broad feet and the tapered toes make mobility a near impossibility. What should I do?

 

A First of all, your very broad feet concern me. Feet (like the derrière) spread with constant use. But let's assume you are an Olympian not a poseur: I feel your main problem is prioritizing. You must ask yourself one of the most important questions of your life.

 

What do you want out of footwear?

 

If you wish to shout to the world "Look! I spent $637.00 on a pair of shoes that are impossible to walk in because I have loads of money and am therefore better than you." then your standing and walking problems are easily solved with two words: Taxi. Chair.

 

If however comfort is your primary concern, then not only are you doing Manolo a disservice you are ruining it for women who can wear this fabulous footwear. I suggest you invest in a pair of Tender Tootsies and head off to bingo.

 

Fashion is power. And with power comes responsibility. Fashion, in the wrong hands breaks down carefully drawn lines of class-distinction. Please remember that.

 

It is ultimately your decision, but this is matter that needs careful consideration. Perhaps you could talk to your minister.

 

Q I just found out that big shoulders are coming back in style. I am devastated as I spent a considerable sum on jackets last season. I don't feel I can afford to replace them. Elize, instead of investing in new jackets, couldn't I just put in some shoulder pads?

 

A  No.

 

Q I have very brittle nails, what can I do to strengthen them?

 

A The nails like very other part of the body have muscles that need to be toned and exercised on a normal basis. These simple tips will turn your nails from brittle bitties to tender talons.

 

1. Balance a pencil on the edge of your nails and do 16 lifts.

 

2. Placing your fingers (tips first on the desk) push up. Repeat 46 times.

 

3. Acknowledge that they may have a problem.

 

4. For the nail cardio hold right arm straight over a table, tuck all fingers in save index and middle fingers. Place these on the table and make then run. Once you are comfortable with this action. Repeat the steps with the left arm until the left hand is chasing the right. (You may wish to tie yourself to a chair as this activity can be quite frenetic). Incorporate the other fingers by wiggling them.

 

Do this exercise for 15 minutes every morning and for an hour and 3 seconds every evening.

 

Before you go to bed apply a paste of mashed avocado and slip on some white Egyptian cotton gloves.

 

Avoid any activity that requires your hands.

 

 

 

Q I was at my local department store looking for a new handbag. I noticed a line of beautiful bags that the clerk explained were Fendi "knock-offs". I own a Fendi and couldn't find much difference--except of course the price. The genuine Fendi was $498.00 while the knock-off was $49.00. How does one tell the difference?

 

A Perhaps this wisdom isn't passed down from mother to daughter in the trailer park so I will patiently explain the difference to you:

 

The Genuine Fendi: Is approx. 12" long x 8 1/2" tall x 5" deep. The material is called Zucca and it features the FF logo pattern. The strap is made of dark brown leather, and is adjustable. Inside the purse, there is a small zippered pocket and inside the pocket there is a serial number printed on the material. The lining is marked in several places with a tiny stitching of the word FENDI. It comes complete with the store tags and the Fendi yellow dust bag.

 

The Fake Fendi

 

It is approx. 12" long x 8 1/2" tall x 5" deep. The material is called Zuccata and it features an FFF logo pattern. The strap is made of dark brown leather, and is length adjustable. Inside the purse, there is a small zippered pocket. Inside the pocket there is a serial numberprinted on the material. The lining is marked in several places with a tiny stitching of the word FENDI. It comes complete with the store tags but it does not come with the yellow dust bag.

 

Chalk and cheese.

 

© Sharon Grehan-Howes