Est. 2000 (A.D.)

Need a Home-Based Business? Start Your Own MLM!

By Jennifer Gravel Vanasse

 

Many stay-at-home Moms just like you are looking for a way to earn a little extra cash. The reasons why you need the cash are plenty, whether its to save for your children's college tuition, to improve your family's lifestyle or just to have a little cash of your own to buy those special pills from the lady who hangs out near the cart carousel at the grocery store. Sadly, the ways to raise those funds are few. Are you willing to deliver newspapers in the middle of the night while your family sleeps? Has Internet poker failed you? Have you run out of items to sell on-line? Don't fret; there is another way. Start your own multi-level marketing scheme!

 

We've all heard of them. Some of us have even experienced MLMs from the inside. But did it make us rich? No! Why not? Because our efforts and money made someone else rich. Well, now is the time for you to be that someone. The secret of MLMs is simple: if you are at the top, you get all the money.

 

First you need a product. For example, if you live in an area with a coniferous forest, go out and collect as many pine cones as you can. Next, you need an angle. Do a little research. Someone, somewhere has likely written a study about the physical/mental/spiritual benefits of pine cones. Now you have the basis of your marketing pitch.

 

On your home computer, prepare a marketing brochure setting out the physical/mental/spiritual benefits of pine cones and how Dr. Gertrude von Glitmire did a study finding that chipmunks who eat pine cones can live up to twice their normal lifetimes and reproduce six times more than their counterparts who don't eat pine cones. Monks who lived in the wilds of Canada were found to live long into their 100's because of a steady diet of pine cones. Six pine cones must be eaten each day, before, during and after meals. Include easy-to-follow recipes and pictures of smiling people holding pine cones.

 

On the back page of your brochure, state how lots of easy money can be made from selling pine cones. The product is so good it practically sells itself! In weeks, "marketing partners" can earn enough to set them on the road to financial freedom. What they don't know is that marketing partners ARE the road, and it is across their backs that you will finally achieve that elusive goal.

 

Marketing partners need only pay a small initial fee of $150.00 (US) plus a monthly fee of $150.00 (US), as well as the cost of the product, and they get to keep all of their profits after that. As an added bonus, for each person they sign up as a marketing partner they earn $25.00 (US) per month for each full month the new recruit continues to be part of the marketing team (i.e. pay $150.00 to head-office).

 

Now, all you have to do is set your plan in motion. Invite your friends over for coffee and show them the brochure. Talk about how you have never been happier, healthier or more satisfied in bed. Slip into the girdle you bought after last Thanksgiving and tell them you've lost weight. Tell them that your son is finally off the ADD drugs and is doing even better now that he is on the "cone". Spread out from there to the PTA, then the playgroup, your children's friends' parents, your husband's relatives and so on.

 

If your contacts need a little convincing about the financial benefits of being a marketing partner, rent an expensive car and leave it in your driveway for a week. Invent foreign investors from Europe or Texas. Have new furniture delivered, which you can return to the store after everyone has admired it. If they ask, say you decided the new furniture would look better at the summerhouse.

 

Soon, your doorbell and phone will be ringing with calls for people anxious to get on the pine cone wagon. To safeguard your financial gain, make sure you have a numbered company in which to shelter the funds, keep as much of the money in cash as you can and be prepared to move on short notice. Until then, go ahead and enjoy your success as the creator of the next big MLM!

 

© 2007 Jennifer Gravel Vanasse

 

OTHER HW ARTICLES BY JENNIFER GRAVEL VANASSE

 

Entirely Enticing Esthetics

How Twin Beds Can Save Your Marriage

The Joy of Being a Girl

The Best Friend Solution

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Jennifer has been writing all her life, though for the past 19 years it has been in the course of her employment with a highly successful law firm in Ottawa. She has had articles published in the Ottawa Association of Law Clerks Newsletter and friends, family and acquaintances seek after her original and customized poetry. Jennifer's goal is to branch out from making judges cry and to enter the world of mainstream fiction. She currently lives in Ottawa with her husband Randy, stepson Nick and their huge dog, a Lab-Newf mix named Zucchini.

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody of women's magazines so don't come crying to us if you starved to death on one of our diets or you took out your liver by mistake. Unless otherwise noted all material © 2000 - 2022 Sharon Grehan-Howes ( aka Sharon Jeffcock ) Happy Woman Magazine All Rights Reserved