READERS' PICKS

INSIDE HW

• Home
• Contents
• New /Recent Articles
• Write for HW!
• Buy the Book!

DEPARTMENTS

• Features
• Celebrities
• Relationships
• Beauty & Style
• Tips & Tricks
• Health
• Do It Yourself
• Special Reports

What's this?

INTERACT

• Games
• Send a Retro E-Card
• Daily Sunsign Horoscope
• Bookmark Us 
• Contests

Libby

Hello lovely to see you--you're much shorter than I thought you'd be.

Lara

I always say 'size doesn't matter'.

Libby

OK you're snickering like a schoolboy so I guess that was one of those whatchamacallit's 'double entendre' things that I never get.

What I mean is in the land of the giants you're a squirt--do you have a problem with that?

Lara

Lord, no I don't have a problem with my body. I don't diet, I haven't had a boob job--I'm not going to be the subject of a movie of the week ten years from now.

Libby

Oh, I know dear, but don't let it depress you. They don't make a MOW out of nobodies unless they get a really good disease. But don't give up, maybe an addiction, maybe a few more roles...

I have to confess I've never heard of you but my nephew Frank (my new research assistant) is a big fan. He didn't even have to research very hard because most articles about you were next to his work bench.

Now, Is it true you lost out on the Ally McBeal role to Calista Flockhart?

Lara

Yeah, but that doesn't bother me because I got a role on "The Practice".

Libby

That is so brave of you! Do you think you lost the role because you are too fat?

Lara

What?

Libby

Oops hit a nerve, I'll just move on. There was an article about you in Vanity Fair and you were quoted as saying "I'm the kind of woman who, when she walks into a party, all the other women leave the room."

Lara

Yeah.

Libby

Oh, you poor thing. I'm sure that's not true!!!

Lara

Yup, since I was seventeen.

Libby

You could probably do something about that, maybe learn to sing or buy presents--believe me I wasn't always a sparkling raconteur. It took some work.

MORE >>

©2000-2001 www.happywomanmagazine.com

Please Note: This is a parody of a magazine, so don't come crying to us if someone accidentally took out your liver or you starved to death on our diet. The interviews are not real and the interviewers are not real.

Complete list of articles past and present.

•  Subscribe in a reader